Tag: mourning

The End Of Something Wonderful: A Practical Guide To A Backyard Funeral (Stephanie V.W. Lucianovic)

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Hello, friends! Our book today is The End Of Something Wonderful: A Practical Guide To A Backyard Funeral, written by Stephanie V.W. Lucianovic and illustrated by George Ermos.

Step one of holding a backyard funeral: you need “Something Dead”. A Something Dead is something wonderful that was once alive, but is now gone. Walking readers through steps like choosing what to say, whether or not to play music, what kind of box to choose, and even a “burial at sea” (i.e. toilet) for deceased fish, this guide helps little ones deal with the practical process of loss, and the reminder that just because something is gone doesn’t mean you have to love it any less.

Readers will know that we are, unfortunately, in a relevant position to review this book – we lost our dog Quigley just this year. There are a lot of books out there to help little ones deal with grief and loss, and this one tries to set itself apart with its darkly humorous tone, with varying degrees of success. Some scenes, such as the tongue-in-cheek “burial at sea” spread that encourages kids to pay ode to their lost fishy friends in their native “fish language”, are charming, as are some of the bigger lessons, like that it’s okay to cry, grieve, visit their pet’s grave, and even to move on. Unfortunately, some of the humor is simply too dark to work in a children’s book: a sequence that jokingly advises to make sure one’s pet is dead before burying it is uncomfortable, and the look of sheer horror on a boy’s face when he realizes he’s killed his pet bug by sitting on it is simply grotesque. While there’s nothing wrong with books that seek to demystify the processes of death and grieving, it’s still a deeply emotional time for kids and their families and requires a delicate balance, one that this particular tone doesn’t always achieve. Still, there are several instances of legitimately graceful comfort, and some really lovely illustrations as well. I would say parents should skim this before sharing to see if it’s right for your little reader; this may or may not be the book on loss for you. For us, the ultimate message of healing after mourning was enough, and we’re calling it Baby Bookworm approved.

(Note: A copy of this book was provided to The Baby Bookworm by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.)

Tim’s Goodbye (Steven Salerno)

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Hello, friends! Our book today is Tim’s Goodbye by Steven Salerno, a story about how we deal with loss.

The day is bright and sunny, but Margot doesn’t feel it. Margot is sad because Tim is gone. She tries to feel happy with the sunshine, but she can’t, so she simply sits and feels. She leaves for a moment to be alone. Melinda arrives then, with her French horn, and Roger brings a box. Vincent holds balloons and Otto wears his best hat. Buddy the dog is there, faithful to Margot in her time of need. The friends contribute what they can – the box, the balloons, flowers, a song. Then Margot delicately places Tim – her late pet turtle, who has been slyly visible to the reader along – into the box with the flowers, and watches his balloon-powered rise into the sky. Later on, she thinks of Tim swimming among the stars, with warm sun to bask in and cool waters to swim, “forever a happy turtle”. She feels Tim’s peace, and it makes her happy too.

Oh, this was really quite something. Heartbreaking, uplifting, comforting, and dear all at once. The way the progression of Margot’s grief unfolds – first her sadness and need to be alone, then buoyed by the support her friends give, and at last her acceptance of Tim’s death – is a subtle and powerful way of letting kids know that mourning is just that: a process. Furthermore, in her friends’ gentle and thoughtful actions, it shows young children how they can be there for someone who is dealing with loss. Finally, the non-denominational depiction of Tim’s beautifully serene afterlife will give children comfort for their own losses. All of this is drawn in timeless, minimal, beautiful illustrations in black across soothing tones of yellow and blue. This is pure, powerful, and perfect in its simplicity and earnest heart. Wonderful, and Baby Bookworm approved.

(Note: A copy of this book was provided to The Baby Bookworm by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.)

A Stone For Sascha (Aaron Becker)

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Hello, friends! Our book today is A Stone For Sascha by Aaron Becker, a picture book that examines loss, time, permanence, and love.

The wordless story opens on a young girl collecting yellow flowers. She is bringing them back to her family, where they are holding a funeral for their recently deceased dog. She lays the flowers down over the large stone used to mark the grave and mourns. A short time later, the family leaves for a lakeside retreat. The girl is sad, watching other children play with their dogs, but at dusk she finds a small oval stone near the water. The art cuts to a large meteorite falling from space. It impacts, and the reader follows along as the stone takes an eons-long journey: first a sharp natural feature, then cut and carved into a rock circle centerpiece. With each new owner and destination, the rock finds new purpose: part of a great statue, a gifted sculpture, a stolen treasure. As history plays out around it, the rock remains, adapting to each new entity until at last, it finds itself at the shore of a lake, picked up by a little girl and brought to her home. She lays it on her dog’s grave in memory – a piece of time and the universe as the symbol of her love.

I mean. Wow. This felt like a book as much for adults as it was for children. The story is so moving and passionate without a single world, the concept is profound and humbling, and the art is incomparable. It’s remarkable in scope, moreso that it never feels like it reaches too far or goes too big – it encourages the reader to think about life and death and the passage of time as something that is enormous and vast and small and personal all at once. It’s breathtaking, awe-inspiring and yet comforting too. We loved it. Baby Bookworm approved.

My Old Pal, Oscar (Amy Hest)

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Hello, friends! Our book today is My Old Pal, Oscar, written by Amy Hest and illustrated by Amy Bates, a sweet story about moving forward after loss.

A tiny black and white puppy huddles under a pier on a windswept beach as threatening storm clouds hide the sun overhead. He spies a little boy playing in the sand, and approaches him with a wagging tale. The boy acknowledges the pup, admits that the little mutt is very cute, and allows it to keep him company – but he firmly states that they are NOT pals. The boy already had a pal, he explains: his old dog, Oscar. But Oscar has passed away, and the heartbreak was simply too much. He misses Oscar, and keeps a drawing of him beside his bed to wish good night and good morning to. But as he opens up to the little dog about his old friend, he realizes that he’s made a new one – and that might just feel okay.

Tender and sweet. There are a some incredible children’s books about loss out there, but this one focuses on a specific issue: the reluctance to let new people into our hearts after that loss. Despite the fluffy, friendly pup being just about the cutest thing on four legs, the boy is not sure he’s ready to love another dog, and the text subtly explores the reasons why: a sense of loyalty to the deceased, a reluctance to be hurt again, or simply the sadness and loneliness that comes with grief. I especially loved that what bonded the boy with his new friend was remembering Oscar to the pup; it encourages children to discuss their grief as a means of dealing with it. The art is absolutely gorgeous, with a rich environment, lifelike and endearing characters, and a beautiful sense of mood and tone. The length is fine, and JJ enjoyed it. It’s a quietly moving story that may help to encourage little ones to have hope after loss, and we loved it. Baby Bookworm approved!

Ida, Always (Caron Levis)

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Hello, friends! Today, we read a moving book about loss, grieving, and remembrance: Ida, Always, written by Caron Levis and illustrated by Charles Santoso.

Gus the polar bear lives in the middle of a great park in the middle of a vast city. It’s a humdrum life, every day the same, but at least he has someone to share it with: his best friend Ida. They spend their days playing, swimming, and basking in the sun, listening to the sounds of the city. One day, Ida becomes sick. The zookeeper tells Gus that she won’t get better, and eventually, she’ll pass away. Gus and Ida are devastated, but they stick by each other. Gus helps Ida when she is weak and Ida helps Gus to be strong. Sometimes they are angry, sometimes they are sad, and sometimes they need to be alone for a bit, but no matter what, they support each other. And even after Ida passes and Gus is heartsick with grief, he comes to realize that, in the sounds of their city, in his memories, and in his heart, Ida will be there. Always.

This book is deeply emotional (I shed a tear simply writing this review). Gus and Ida’s journey through mourning, even while Ida is still alive, will strike a chord with anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one. However, it also dispels some mysteries and provides comfort about the grieving process, explaining that it’s okay to laugh, or to be mad, or want to be alone, and it’s okay to grieve. The beautiful, gentle art supports the story perfectly, and the length is fine for little ones. Let me be clear: this is a very sad book, and might be tough on children old enough to understand the subject matter (JJ did not, obviously, and was happy to just point at the bears). However, for a child who is dealing with or learning about illness and loss, this is a book that might provide some understanding and comfort. Overall, it’s a moving, wonderful book, and it’s Baby Bookworm approved.